cloudy shroud of a flight away

I'm really sad that I'm leaving. To-night. It's so very wonderful here right now. And to be quite frank, Texas is not one of my favorite places to be in the world.

I've taken about 3 zillion pictures of the clouds this morning because they keep getting prettier. See for yourself.



Mmm. A girl obsessed. And thats just this morning.

Well, see you next year.
Merry Christmas!

Well well well.
It's the first day of winter break.

I saw a shooting star as I was driving to school.

I had slept in, and I was late once again. It was a terrible morning.

And then I saw it. And I felt like everything that was stressing me out was all added up perfectly so I could be driving and looking at the sky that exact moment to see that quick streak of light.

Radical, dude.

yes is a pleasant country
if's wintry
(my lovely)
let's open the year

both is the very weather
(not either)
my treasure,
when violets appear

love is a deeper season
than reason;
my sweet one
(and april's where we're)

-e e cummings

dancing queen

Today is birthday number 17.
I got my first-ever surprise party last night, it was very sweet. Thank you! :D I love all of you very much. Hmm, extreme pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, magnificent presents, yummy garlic and brie.
So, now that I'm all seventeen and everything, am I supposed to be a older, cooler person? Why yes, I feel a change throughout my entire person, physical and mental and spiritual! I understand! Everything, its so clear! Ha, no. Its a nice age, though.

whining time

Imgoingtobe17onSaturdayandIfeellikeIwasnevereven16
andImreallytiredrightnowandIfeelreallysick
becausewhatIateisntagreeing
withmytummyandIvegottensofat
andtheresfinalsnextweek
andImfailingEconanditsnofaultbutmyown
andallofmyfinalsarereallyhard
andImscaredand
Idontwanttospendmybirthdaystudyingand
IjustwantmorethananythingtogotobedRIGHTNOW
butIcantbecauseIhavetodomathandeconandfuuuuck

I wish I was remarkable.

"I think the world of myself, but the world doesn't think much of me."

-Brandi Carlile

what make you so no good?

Dadgummit! I FEEL

!tired.

when ask you this question, think well, think free,
think much. To be
in debt
holds heights
and turntable
and long speeches
and long-awaited reunions.

Do you believe?

I believe in the person,
in the personality,
in the personal,
and the personal space.

I do not believe in
the people.

We're going! Seriously! We booked tickets! This morning!

birthday cake and bags

Yesterday was mommy's 55th, this is the pathetic-looking-but-still-delicious cake I made her.
Today is just a Saturday, I felt sicky so I slept in til 11 and I've been sewing and cleaning and stuff since. We're going to the Film Festival later, I think.

what a boring post!

Disappointing movie: The Graduate. It's such a famous line and all, "Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?", and I appreciate movies from the 60's, but the awkward silences and the songs repeated and the lack of resolve at the end left me unhappy. Hmph.
On a different note, it's Monday and I just ate a cookie and its Very Cold outside and my room is a mess.
I wish it would snow!
I am reading a book of poetry.
How I dearly love poetry.

So I was talking with the good friend today about the English language. I don't like how slang-y (look at me, what a hypocrite) we've made it. I wish we still spoke in a higher class of English, similar to circa 1750. Back when the people took pride in the manner in which they made use of their vocabulary.
And it just sounds pretty.
But I wouldn't mind if we didn't go quite so far back either.
I'd be okay if people brought back phrases like 'doll-face' and 'shake a leg, kid'
or 'I dig it, daddy-o'.
:] Hee.

I've been lazy. Perpetual pajamas and curling up in blankets and getting positively fat. But I'm happy. I guess. Right now I am. Here's how I feel. I feel like I'm waiting for something, with school looming over my head, and its already December. I guess I feel like I'm never really in the moment, I'm always thinking about what homework I should be doing, or the school day tomorrow, or the weekend, or a few hours from now. It's exhausting. Even laying around in my pajamas gives me a feeling of guilt and dread. Happy? Ha. I was happy until I started thinking about it. But it's Christmas, right? Doesn't really feel like it around here. The weather. It's always the weather. This coldish, dead-grass, blah blah weather is not winter-material. How am I ever going to catch the Christmas spirit somewhere where it doesn't snow in the winter?
Yesterday my brother and I went out to a little café to listen to an open-mic night, my brother's roommate was performing. I was pleased with the grown-up feel of the place, not so much the beer, but the low lights, live music, people in trench-coats (even a guy with a beret) just sitting and talking at little tables. I felt very left out of the political discussion, so I sat and made sketches of the performers.
The guilt of leaving my homework 'til the ungodly hour of 3.30pm (heaven forbid!) is getting to me, so here is where I'll sign off.