I've been lazy. Perpetual pajamas and curling up in blankets and getting positively fat. But I'm happy. I guess. Right now I am. Here's how I feel. I feel like I'm waiting for something, with school looming over my head, and its already December. I guess I feel like I'm never really in the moment, I'm always thinking about what homework I should be doing, or the school day tomorrow, or the weekend, or a few hours from now. It's exhausting. Even laying around in my pajamas gives me a feeling of guilt and dread. Happy? Ha. I was happy until I started thinking about it. But it's Christmas, right? Doesn't really feel like it around here. The weather. It's always the weather. This coldish, dead-grass, blah blah weather is not winter-material. How am I ever going to catch the Christmas spirit somewhere where it doesn't snow in the winter?
Yesterday my brother and I went out to a little café to listen to an open-mic night, my brother's roommate was performing. I was pleased with the grown-up feel of the place, not so much the beer, but the low lights, live music, people in trench-coats (even a guy with a beret) just sitting and talking at little tables. I felt very left out of the political discussion, so I sat and made sketches of the performers.
The guilt of leaving my homework 'til the ungodly hour of 3.30pm (heaven forbid!) is getting to me, so here is where I'll sign off.