a sick day

I stayed home from school today, due to a mix of stomach cramps and my mom leaving for Boston. My grandma, her mom, just died 2 nights ago, she was 87. The last time I saw her was 2 1/2 years ago, and I hadn't known her very well. Her name was Sophia. I think its a beautiful name.
But so today was a lonely day of homework and music and a little painting and a little poetry and a little Mr. Rogers. I have a guitar body that I am going to paint, and supposedly it will be made into a guitar eventually. I'm excited.
I should be done with it in about 2 weeks, considering how picky I am. I still don't feel great, its almost midnight and I still have a lot of reading to do, something I was trying to avoid, but its inevitable it seems. This coming weekend looks a little uneventful, and I guess I'm grateful, but I've been spending so much time around home that I'm starting to get a little stir-crazy, cabin feverish. I can't beleive Spetember is on the way down, the home strtch. then...October? Heavens-to-Betsy. This is another year that zooms by so quickly, so quickly. Here is a cool picture of the moon, a couple nights ago. I just like pictures of the moon. Of space in general. I love space. Those big pictures of star-births and deaths and...man, my mind is blanking out right now. Those biiig universe books with mind-blowing pictures of space, the ones you look at and say to yourself "No way, that Cannot be Real!". Yeah. Those.

tidbits

I'm just taking a break from my homework for a minute. It's a slow Sunday, the after-the-party feeling, after Ava left this morning, and Anne's birthday party on Friday [Happy birthday today Anne!]. Hm, not feeling very talkative, so lets just do pictures.
Yesterday I got to play on the wheel and made a pretty little bowl. And just took a walk and found a pretty little flower.

The wind, it howls.

Weather is turning chilly and rainy. I don't know, I don't have a lot to say, I guess not much exciting has been happening. In school it seems the subject of individuality keeps arising, and I'm into it. I know my whole life I've heard the phrases "Be yourself" and "Do what makes You happy", but especially with impending college/the rest of my life hovering over everything, it really makes more sense to me now. Like, take careers. I don't want one, period. I basically want to drift around for the rest of my, always doing different stuff and learning different skills and trying different things. There's no degree for that. But I still want to go to college, because I've wanted to go ever since I've known what goes on there. Learning. But you don't have to go to college to get advanced learning. But I still like the idea of college. So much money, just for the idea. I don't know. I'll get there when I come to it. Right now, grades are great, and they suck, and I'm gonna get stuff done, but I just won't freak myself out about it, I don't know if I can, because I always reach a certain point of stress when I realize that life goes on, A's or C's or F's.
So to celebrate the wonderful weather, I spent a nice afternoon painting and reading and listening to music.
And with my brother possibly moving out soon, I've been contemplating to possibly move into his room, and make my room into an art/sewing/music room. And painting it pink, like this:

Because, in Ava's words, its "refreshing". It is. Like a easier version of my deep red:
Well, I'm off to yoga.

sooshey

Pineapple Sushi is good.
Basically seaweed, rice, pineapple, chives, and shrimp.
My brother made it for dinner.
Its another late night, this must stop. I spent the afternoon with friends, playing guitar and rain-walks and knocking down a bee's hive (that turned out to be empty).
Ah.

late nights. create lights. procrastinate. kites.

Well, here's to not doing homework.

-clink glasses-

To make the night a little nicer, we made a pot of Black-Orange Tea. Black chai tea, and when steeping, cut up an orange into slices and add to the pot. And then use the other half of the orange slices to make the teacups pretty. Super yummy.
And here's my mother's old sweater I stole from our garage sale, and wore today.
And this is picture I took above the tea pot, so the lens got foggy.

And its raining. Pouring outside. I have my window open to listen to the refreshing sound.

Unconditional Love

I am frustrated at:
my house
my room
my carpet
my lack of cooking skill or patience
my body
my painting
my homework
my song-writing
my math teacher
my busy weekends
my lack of resolve

But oh, do I love my typewriter.

if wishes were fishes...

Some days just aren't as sympathetic as others. Today was hectic-y, and I suspect tomorrow will be too, because my homework is starting to slip. I wish time would stand still for a while, to let me get caught up. I want to wake up early in the sunrise, do some yoga, drink some tea, sew some clothing, take a nice walk in the fall weather, sit and do some drawing, learn to make a new dinner dish, curl up with a book, and feel wonderful. That sounds like the perfect day.

i love the rain. except...

when you are on a backpacking trip. And oh, did it pour. We set off around 9pm on Friday, about 4 hours later than we had planned, and we hiked a little and set up our tent in the dark and all was well. It started raining very soon after we got into the tent, and we woke up lying in puddles. Not discouraged though, we changed into dry things and made breakfast and packed up, and hiked about 3 hours (in the rain) to the top of the mountain. It was beautiful, we were up high, but the scenery below was mostly covered with fog, and everything was green, but with tinges of reds and yellows of the fall. We were drenched, inside and out, so we set up our (soaking wet) tent and bunkered down on a slant, since there wasn't really anywhere flat. But after changing into dry things they were wet within 15 minutes. So we made lunch and sat and shivered for about 2 hours, my brother slept and I read a little, and when he woke up we agreed we did not want to spend the night there, so we donned our damp things and packed up, and the trail down was a mud slip-n-slide. I would fall on my butt, and then just keep sliding for a long time, laughing the whole way. So muddy and wet we got picked up around 4pm. And the hot shower I took when I got home was the loveliest shower I have ever taken.It unsettles me a little how dependent I am on things like shelter and showers. But also, thinking about it, if it had kept raining like that, and we had no choice but to stay there, no way to get a ride home, we could have survived, we just wouldn't have hiked to the top in the rain. So its also a good feeling, of the ability to survive. But this is also with all our big packs of gear, a tent, a gas stove, freeze-dried food, raincoats, polypros, etc. Fancy camping stuff. I used to love the book My Side of the Mountain. I love the idea of putting everything you need on your back, and then living off the land for the rest of it. Of being primal. I love it. But thats a love I conjured while curled up in my warm bed, reading it. Doing it takes a whole other kind of strength. I don't have any pictures because I was afraid to get the camera wet. And its a film camera as well, its the film camera I'm using for my photography class. But the mountain picture is out of my window this morning, and is mostly what we saw at the top of the mountain: fog. One of my favorite weathers. I love how magical and mystical and mysterious it is. Today is a homework day, as Sundays usually are. So I've spread out on my bed and gotten to work. With sufficient breaks, of course.

oh, where has the time gone?

Free time seems like a long-lost friend that moved away, and we wrote letters in the beginning, but now we've completely lost touch. I've been so busy, it seems like, between school and tennis and homework. I just don't understand where the time goes. Tomorrow I am missing school in the morning, so my father can take me to the test for my driving license (ooh nervous!) and then tomorrow evening my brother and I are taking off to go hiking/camping all weekend. So happy we are going, to remove self out of situation and obligations and just sit and think and be with nature and read and draw and listen to nothing for a while. Everyone doesn't get enough of just silence, I think.
I'm frustrated with my pants. All of them. None of them fit. They are all baggy and saggy or loose and fold funny. I have such a problem buying pants. So eventually, I'm going to take a shot at tailoring them? Is that hard? I would be afraid of ruining them. But you can always rip out seams, right? I suppose baggy-saggy pants are better than no pants at all, when it comes down to it.
And here is my gorgeous scarf I just got at the fair. I love this scarf. More than anything. Its so soft and ... wonderful.

nosey posey

What a day. Not much happened, mostly homework (reading essays) and sewing (procrastinating) and I pierced my nose, because I was talking about it yesterday at the Alaska State Fair, because I was working there with Stephanie, and she got a fake one, and we were joking around at how fun it would be. Crazy crazy. I like it. I want to put a ring in it, because right now I feel a little trendy, seeing as there are So Many nose piercings lately. But there are so many of everything I guess. These are a whole flock of robins that were swooping around my window yesterday, I always feel like we're friends. So cute. And a double rainbow 2 nights in a row! It was pouring and thundering, my absolute favorite. The second night Anne and Marti and Megan and I ran outside and got drenched playing in puddles and gutter-water and laughing and splashing. The kind of things you always remember. We had so much fun...Megan has the pictures, so I'll have them soon. My brother and I went to the UAA Library, just to revel in the mind-boggling amount of books there. I spent time in the Journals, just browsing through the subjects. And the detail of the subjects. There was every subject imaginable there. And thats just one part of the library. I love books. I love knowledge. Its so intimidating though, how much I don't know. Or even think about. Or even don't know I don't know. I've got time to learn. I just can't let myself get lazy. Or to ever reach a point in my life that I've decided I know enough. I will never know enough.